


sugar booger

by elizabethalmighty (throwtheafterparty)



Series: Prompts [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, harry is a strong believer in ridiculous pet names for his boyfriend, i still smile every day, jesus christ - Freeform, louis is a strong believer in fantasies of medieval forms of torture, louis just REALLY fucking hates nick, most of these fantasies place nick in the starring role, nick grimshaw is a strong believer in being a dick, the glass incident is mentioned several times, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 07:56:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3242111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/throwtheafterparty/pseuds/elizabethalmighty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis loves Harry. And because of this, he puts up with his boyfriends stupid friends and allows Harry to call him stupid names, although not at the same time. Harry slips up and now Louis' got his least favorite of Harry's asshole friends calling him The Name.</p><p> </p><p>or</p><p>Harry fucks up, and Louis wants Nick to swallow glass (again.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	sugar booger

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sorry for this.

From where Louis is sulking in the back of the Radio 1 studio, he can see his boyfriend, Harry, and that asshole Nick Grimshaw laughing and talking together in the radio booth.

And Louis kind of wants to die.

Not that the studio or the radio show is particularly boring, but it gets old  _very_ quickly when he's here every god damn fucking weekend, waiting for Harry to get tired of Nick being up his ass. Which usually takes upwards of two hours. And now, on hour three, minute fourteen, Louis definitely wants to die.

No, scratch that - he wants  _Nick_ to die. That stupid fucking asshole gets to bathe in Harry's attention whenever he's back in England, gets to go out in public with him, gets to do everything Louis  _should_ be able to do. And instead of just basking in Harry's almighty glory like any decent person, he brings along his stupid fucking friends and they talk about stupid fucking bands that no one cares about. Honestly, if Harry mentions the fucking 1795 or  _whatever_ one more time, Louis will probably drop Grimshaw in a pot of acid. Or maybe he'll put him on one of those machines that stretches out your limbs. Louis could enjoy doing that.

He'd probably just laugh at the newfound height over the already-shorter Louis, though. The tall fucker.

And speak of the devil, he's taking his too-big headphones off and patting Harry's knee as he laughs at something, and fuck no, it's time to leave. Louis stands from his chair and barges into the sound booth just as the red sign that indicates whether the show is broadcasting or not switches off. Harry looks up at him with a smile, and Louis' annoyance drains just a bit. 

"Louis!" his boyfriend says excitedly, promptly pulling the smaller boy onto his lap. Nick's hand ends up crushed under Louis, and the fucker laughs, squeezing his ass cheek a few times. Louis  _growls_.

"Y've let your ass go, Louis," Grimshaw says in greeting, finally pulling his hand away. Louis scowls at the ground, somewhere between ready to thrust Nick into a volcano and ready to jump into one himself.

"Go swallow glass again," he snarls angrily, annoyed at the jab at his ass. Nick laughs again, and Louis wants to burn him at the stake.

"That's enough," Harry whispers calmly in his ear. He pouts like a child and glares at Nick, wishing with all his might to have the ability to remove the dagger from his arm and stab Grimshaw with it a few hundred times.

"I suppose we best be going," Harry says, addressing Nick and gently lifting Louis off of his lap. "Lots to do."

Nick smiles. "Oh, I see. I'd suggest you let Louis top from here on in - can't imagine anyone getting off to that hot mess." He spanks Louis once, and Harry has to physically grab his arm and hold him back. 

"Good thing one of you still has their bum intact," he adds as an afterthought, tapping Harry much gentler, which only serves to make Louis' hands shake. Louis wants this fucker  _dead_.

" _Grimmy_ ," Harry warns, looking annoyed as well. "We'll be leaving now. Have a nice night. C'mon, sugar booger, let's g-"

Louis knows Harry has caught his grave mistake when he stops abruptly, eyes immediately seeking apology. Fucking asshole lets out a howl of laughter, and Louis literally wants to die. He feels his cheeks positively  _burn_ as Nick collapses in a fit. 

" _Sugar booger_!"

"Put me on suicide watch, Harry."

"H-H-He calls y-you-"

"I'm going to kill your fucking friend and I'm not going to feel sorry."

"Louis, sugar booger! Gimme a kiss, sugar booger!"

Louis' expression goes from embarrassed to angry again, because  _no_ , he can tease him about it and be a little shit as always, but no one, repeat,  _no one_ calls Louis silly, idiotic pet names but Harry, especially not fucking clowns like  _fucking Nick Grimshaw_.

As embarrassing as it was, Louis kind of liked the pet name when it was just him and Harry - another example of how much they loved each other; Harry finding it within himself to make sugar booger almost less disgusting, and in turn Louis allowing him to use it in private. But now that he's revealed this, their secret shame to the absolute last person Louis would ever want to find out, it's suddenly lost its appeal and he doubts it can ever be reclaimed.

"I hope you swallow glass and it slits your throat, you absolute prick," Louis says, glaring down at Nick. 

"I love you too, sugar booger!"

 

\---

 

And if a week later, while out to lunch, Nick happens to swallow glass and get taken to A&E where it has to be surgically removed from his esophagus before it destroys his insides, nothing on Earth can prove it was Louis, not even Grimshaw's pathetic whisper of "sugar booger" before he's put under.

 

**Author's Note:**

> if you want you can follow me on twitter : @louistmhlinson


End file.
